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The Gospel Observer

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching them to observe all that I commanded you, and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19,20).
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November 4, 2012
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Contents:      

1) Ephesians 6:1-4 (Tom Edwards)
2) News & Notes
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-1-

Ephesians 6:1-4
by Tom Edwards

After instructing husbands and wives in their relation to each other and to God, Paul then instructs the children to "...obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH" (Eph. 6:1-3). 

We commented on this phrase,  to "obey your parents IN THE LORD," when considering the wives' responsibility to "be subject to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD" (Eph. 5:22; emphasis mine).  In either passage, it does not mean that the husband or the parents have to be Christians before they are submitted to and obeyed.  But, rather, these expressions indicate that the specific things that the child or wife submits to would be only that which is not contrary to God's word. For instance, if the husband wanted his wife to steal, she certainly could not comply with that.  But if she did, she would then be exemplifying the violation that Jesus sets forth in Matthew 10:37: "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me." Luke's account also includes "brothers and sisters," "wife," and "his own life" (Luke 14:26); and though husband, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and some other relations are not mentioned, the principle would still be true: To love anyone more than to love God would not be right.  For in loving others more, it indicates that the person who does so will reject, compromise, and corrupt God's truth for the sake of pleasing someone else instead.  

Notice the reason Paul gives in Ephesians 6:1 for why children should obey their parents in the Lord: "for this is right."  And of all motivations, is not this one the primary and most noble grounds for doing so, which rises above that of the fear of punishment or simply the desire for rewards? 

In addition, Paul also shows a couple other reasons for children to submit to their parents: "SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH" (v. 3).  According to this passage, honoring one's parents (which would imply submitting to them) will result in blessings and longevity.  This passage is an allusion to one of the Ten Commandments, as seen in Deuteronomy 5:16: "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you."  To better understand this, one needs to realize the importance of children obeying their parents during Old Testament times. For certain offenses in not doing so would actually result in the death of the disobedient son or daughter.  For instance: "If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him" (Lev. 20:9).  "He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death" (Exod. 21:15).  "For God said, 'HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER,' and, 'HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER, LET HIM BE PUT TO DEATH'" (Matt. 15:4)  "If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his home town.  And they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.'  Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear of it and fear" (Deut. 21:18-21).  From these passages, we can clearly see how a child's obedience and honor toward his parents could help him to attain longevity -- rather than a premature death.   

Though we are no longer under these Old Testament laws, there are still ways, even today, in which disobedience to parents could possibly lead to the untimely death of a child -- instead of having a long life.  For example, what if the child disobeys his parents when it comes to alcohol and drugs?  I once met a person in her 20's or 30's who could name about a dozen of her friends, around her age, who had already died, due to alcohol or drug-related incidents -- whether by overdose or car accidents while under the influence.  And even if alcohol and drugs are not involved, what about the young person who disobeys his parents when it comes to driving safely?  Instead, he wants to show his friends how fast his new car will go -- and ends up wrapping it around a tree and losing his own life.  Generally speaking, people who live to do what is right have better odds at longevity than those who disregard the proper course in life.  And obedience to what is right should begin in the home, while the person is young and learning to respect and obey the authority of his or her parents and being instilled with the value of integrity toward God.  For that will carry over into every area of the person's life.  As James Burton Coffman writes, "If one does not learn obedience at home, he becomes a troublemaker in school; and from there he soon graduates to the police court.  A great deal of the world's sorrows could be prevented if all children were taught to obey their parents."

As we think of honoring one's father and mother, what does that truly mean?  The Greek word for "honor" (timao), in Ephesians 6:2,  is defined as "to revere" or "venerate" (Thayer).  E.W. Bullinger shows that it also means "to deem or hold worthy."  In addition, we can note, according to how this word is used in the Scriptures, that it also denotes more than merely an attitude of respect.  For instance, consider the following: "They also honored us with many marks of respect; and when we were setting sail, they supplied us with all we needed" (Acts 28:10).  In the RSV, this is rendered as, "They presented many gifts to us; and when we sailed, they put on board whatever we needed."  So these natives honored Paul and the others who had sailed with him by giving them needful gifts.  Going along with that, Jesus declares, "...'And why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?  For God said, 'HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER,' and, 'HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER, LET HIM BE PUT TO DEATH.'  But you say, 'Whoever shall say to his father or mother, "Anything of mine you might have been helped by has been given to God," he is not to honor his father or his mother.'  And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition" (Matt. 15:3-6).  From this passage, we can infer that the honoring of one's parents also involves helping them financially, if they have a need for that.  

Note, too, from Matthew 15:8, that honor only worded, or as lip- service, falls short of being the honor it should be.  Here Jesus states, "THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME."  In the context, the Lord refers to those who would do this as being hypocrites.  

In 1 Timothy 5:17, Paul uses the phrase "double honor."  The verse states: "The elders who rule well are to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching."  What is "double honor"?  The next verse makes that clear: "For the Scripture says, 'YOU SHALL NOT MUZZLE THE OX WHILE HE IS THRESHING,' and 'The laborer is worthy of his wages'" (v. 18).  This is also the same Old Testament reference that Paul used when speaking about support to a preacher (1 Cor. 9:9).  So, again, we see honor in connection with a manifestation of that honor -- and in this case, financial support. 

Honor toward parents, therefore, should motivate the child toward obedience that can truly be seen in the child's relationship to his or her parents.  So just as love prompts a person to certain actions, honor also does likewise.  And if a young person has to disobey a parent for being told to do something that was wrong, the child is still to honor the parent.  As E.M. Zerr writes, the child "while refusing to obey the request of his parent because it is unscriptural, he should do so in a manner that does not show disrespect for the parent. The overbearing attitude that so many boys and girls manifest toward their parents is never right under any circumstances."

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul next gives instruction to the fathers, by saying, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  In writing to the Colossians, Paul states a similar thing: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart" (Col. 3:21).  The dictionary defines "exasperate" as "to irritate or provoke to a high degree; annoy extremely" (Random House Webster's Electronic Dictionary and Thesaurus).   Zerr defines it as "vex bitterly."  So, "Fathers are cautioned against an excessive severity that provokes bitter, wrathful rebellion" (David Lipscomb).  

Therefore, rather than overly provoking their children, fathers are urged to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Though we might equate "discipline" with only punishment, that is actually just part of it -- and a final step.  For the Greek word (paideia) is defined as "the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment).  It also includes the training and care of the body" (Thayer).  So from this definition, it appears that we can break down "discipline" into three main categories:  1) It begins with teaching.  2) It also includes commands and warnings.  3) And when the commands and warnings are not heeded, then there is reproof and punishment.  Therefore, all of this works together toward the proper upbuilding of the child.  Strong defines "paideia" as "tutorage, that is, education or training; by implication disciplinary correction."  Discipline, therefore, means much more than merely punishment.  

The importance of the right kind of discipline can be seen in both the Old and the New Testaments.  For instance, Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." And 2 Timothy 3:14,15: "You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them; and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."

The Greek word for "instruction" (nouthesia) in Ephesians 6:4 denotes "calling attention to, that is (by implication) mild rebuke or warning" (James Strong).  Thayer defines it as "admonition, exhortation."

God's word is filled with admonitions.  We might often think of this word as meaning "warnings," but it actually can denote more than that.  The dictionary defines it as "1) to caution, advise, or counsel against something.  2. to reprove or scold, esp. in a mild and good-willed manner.  3. to urge to a duty or remind of an obligation" (RHWED).  So, yes, we are warned with God's word.  But we are also wisely advised, kindly reproved, firmly urged to obey the Lord, and helpfully reminded of what all that obedience involves.  

Exhortations appear to be similar to admonitions, but a little more severe.  The dictionary shows "exhort" to mean "1. to urge, advise, or caution earnestly; admonish urgently" (RHWED).  

One of the Old Testament passages that clearly shows the need for children to be brought up in the teachings of God is Deuteronomy 6:6-9: "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

David Lipscomb lived from 1831 to 1917 and was a prominent individual and very influential during the Restoration Movement.  In making an observation of Christians of his day in relation to their children, he declares, "In no point do Christians fail more than in the training of their children in the Lord.  They allow them to grow up ambitious of worldly preferment, lovers of pleasure, greedy of gain, and frequently scoffers of God.  ...The obedience of childhood and youth rendered to a wise Christian rule forms the habit of self-control, self-respect, diligence, faithfulness, and kindliness of heart, which are the best guarantees for happiness and success in life."

To young Samuel, the Lord said the following about Eli the priest: "...'Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.  In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end.  For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.  And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever'" (1 Sam. 3:11-14).  Some other versions refer to Eli's not rebuking his sons as, "he restrained them not" (KJV), "he didn't try to stop them" (GW), and "he let them get away with it" (CEV).  And this is said even though Eli did express to them his disapproval of the wrongs they had committed (1 Sam. 2:22-25).

In addition, though it is to the fathers that this is addressed in Ephesians 6:4, the principle should also be observed by the mother to not provoke her children to anger, but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  

There might be a couple reasons, however, why the father is specified.  First, he is the head of the household.  And, second, the father is more likely to be more stern and severe than the mother; so he is being cautioned to maintain the proper temper when disciplining his children.  For instance, if a child had a choice, which parent would he or she prefer to be disciplined by?  And what could be more alarming to a child who has done something wrong than to hear his or her mother say, "You just wait until your father gets home!"?

We also know it is important for parents to be in agreement in how they discipline their children.  For otherwise, one parent could countermand the disciplinary measures of the other, which would give the child a mixed message that would detract from the seriousness of the child's offense.  

So, as we considered in this lesson, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother... And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:1-4).
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News & Notes

Let those of us who are Christians be remembering the following people in prayer:

Kay Babin's test results show that it is viral meningitis that she is still recovering from.

Shirley Young who has continual fibromyalgia and will be having gall bladder surgery November 20. 

Doris Crews who recently had a knee replacement.

Pam MacDonald who has severe back trouble.

Clifton Trimble who is in his 80's with heart trouble.

Bill Barfield who has been several months in a hospital's step-down unit. 

Terry MacDonald who is healing from surgery.

Cheryl Crews who has chronic ailments.

Caleb Davis who is now in Afghanistan.

Mozelle Robertson who is a little frail at 92.

Wayne Murray who is in a nursing home in Columbus, Mississippi.
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The Steps That Lead to Eternal Salvation

1) Hear the gospel, for that is how faith comes (Rom. 10:17;  John 20:30,31).
2) Believe in the deity of Christ (John 8:24; John 3:18).
3) Repent of sins (Luke 13:5; Acts 17:30).
4) Confess faith in Christ (Rom. 10:9,10; Acts 8:36-38).
5) Be baptized in water for the remission of sins (Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38; 22:16; Rom. 6:3,4; Gal. 3:26,27; 1 Pet. 3:21).
6) Continue in the faith; for, if not, salvation can be lost (Heb. 10:36-39; Rev. 2:10; 2 Pet. 2:20-22).
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Park Forest

CHURCH OF CHRIST
9923 Sunny Cline Dr., Baton Rouge, LA  70817
Sunday services: 9:00 AM (Bible class); 10 AM & 6 PM (worship)
Tuesday: 7 PM (Bible class)
evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards (225) 667-4520
Tom@ThomasTEdwards.com
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